Stop Crying Your Heart Out
by hilarie3
Summary: Best Friends Forever, True Love Always...It was all so perfect. But sometimes happily ever after doesn't last forever.
1. Prologue

Brooke watched from the hallway, as her two year old son, Jackson Samuel Baker played on the floor in the living room. He was playing with the miniature musical instruments Peyton and Haley had sent him the previous christmas. They'd spent it with Julians parents as agreed. She laughed as he continued to bang the guitar on the floor; so much for her friends hopes that he would be a rock star. On the couch she could see her husbands head buried in his newspaper. She picked Jackson up, and rested him on her hips as she walked over to the couch.

"Look at Daddy. Are we annoying Daddy?" She laughed as Jackson reached out and pulled on Julian's ears.

"You could never annoy me." Julian turned, ruffling Jackson's hair and kissing Brooke softly. Brooke was about to walk around to sit next to him when the phone rang. She set Jackson down next to Julian.

"I'll get it." She avoided Julian's attempt to drag her onto his lap and answered the phone, her eye's still focused on the blissful scene before her. Jackson now sat on Julian's lap, as Julian softly read the box scores. "Baker house!"

"Brooke…" She was suddenly reminded that not everyone got the happily ever after she had, the haunted voice on the line reminding her how easily perfection could crumble. She had to look away from her husband and son as the broken voice continued.

_Larry opened the door to a tearful Brooke. She ran straight past him and up to his __daughter's room. He'd known Brooke almost three years. Since his wife's death two years ago she had become a permanent fixture, and the only way to really talk with his daughter. Brooke was the only person Peyton really talked to like she had before. He received fake smiles and one word answers. At night he would hear them talking as the watched movies or rested in bed._

_He heard the upstairs floorboard creak, from Peyton's room, and then silence. He followed her upstairs and saw her lying next to Peyton, there arms wrapped around each other, as Brooke cried. Peyton caught his eye for a __moment and he closed the door on them._

"_Brooke, what happened?" Peyton asked as Brooke's sobbing subsided. Brooke was always the strong one, this was the first time she'd ever seen her cry. Peyton was the unstable one._

"_I…I…It's silly…"_

"_It's not silly if it's got you this upset." Peyton softly reasoned, wiping the tears from the brunette's face._

"_Promise?"_

"_I promise." _

"_He broke up with me, for Bevin." Brooke said before breaking out into tears. Peyton swallowed the laughter and comforted her friend the rest of the night. She explained to Bevin that Justin Garner was a loser, and Bevin's IQ was probably in negative numbers. They were welcome to each other because neither were in the same league has her best friend. _

_Larry had taken the two girls to school the next morning, knowing his role as father was just to drive and asked no questions. He dropped them off and watched as they made their way up the steps to the school, arms linked and smiling. He'd never forget that smile. He's always meant to thank Brooke for bringing a smile to his daughters face but he'd forgotten two hours later when the principal had called him to collect Peyton. She'd been suspended for hitting some Justin kid. She wouldn't explain it, and used the silent treatment. Instead Brooke had apologised, but also refused to explain. _

"_I'm sorry Mr Sawyer, but we're best friends. Do you know what that means? I've got her back and she's got mine. We're best friends forever."_

Brooke placed the phone down, tears in her eyes. She walked into her kitchen, holding herself up by leaning on the counter as she cried. The word of a broken woman still with her. Julian's strong arms wrapped around her from behind.

"That was Karen…" She didn't have to say anymore. Julian understood. He frowned slightly, remembering the last time he'd heard those words. The devastation that had followed them, and how Brooke had cried. They'd flown back to Tree Hill the very next day. He kissed the back of her head, the scent of her shampoo filling his nostrils.

"When should I book your flight for?" There was no point fighting it. The selfish part of him wanted to keep her here with him, with their son, but the better half of him. The part that really loved Brooke understood her decision and would support her. So he said nothing. She had to do this, it was who she was.

"As soon as. Will you look after Jackson? I don't want him to see this." He nodded, and followed her to the bedroom to pack.

_'Cause all of the stars,  
Have faded away  
Just try not to worry,  
You'll see them someday,  
Take what you need,  
And be on your way and  
Stop crying your heart out_

**This story wouldn't leave me alone. I know this doesn't give to much away. It's set after season 6. Julian and Brooke are married and living in LA, with their son. I couldn't think of a first name. I was so tempted to go with Davies or David, seeing as that how they seem to name kids in one tree hill (James, Sawyer). Lucas and Peyton stayed in Tree Hill with Sawyer. Naley still live their too. This is going to be a friendship story. Please review and let me know what you think so far. **


	2. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

_Brooke had arrived in Tree Hill as soon as Haley had called. Julian and Davis went to the hotel, while she headed straight to the hospital. She hadn't allowed herself to cry but as soon as she entered the hospital room she felt the tears escape, and her whole hear__t ached. They were both asleep, the sound of hospital machines beeping, the only noise. She could see their hands, the death grip, almost like a final plea not to be separated. She stepped outside, and quickly found the large crowd gathered in a hallway. Skills sitting on the floor, Millie handing out coffee, Nathan and Haley clinging onto each for dear life. Then sitting on chairs Karen and Larry. There presence told Brooke all she needed to know. This was the end. One parent there to say goodbye to their child, the other hoping their child would survive the departure._

Tree Hill hadn't changed much, she wasn't sure why but every time she stepped off the plane she expected it too. It never did, it was spring time, probably the best of year for the small time. Not too hot, but still warm enough for people to wander around town in their shorts and t shirts. Of course it was also play off time. She never expected that too change.

She parked outside the familiar house, full of memories. She stopped on the porch peering around the corner to the black side door. Memories of her young self crying at the doorstep came flooding back, and she had to compose herself before knocking on the front door.

It was answered by a smiling Sawyer, and Brooke tried her hardest to ignore the urge to cry at the sight of her. She was everything Peyton had been at that age, long legs, toothy smile, and blonde unruly curls. The only difference was those eyes; an intense shade of blue that meant one thing. She was a Scott. Brooke remembered Lucas insisting that they'd change to green, and that most babies were born with blue eyes. He'd adorably read it in a baby book She was quickly shaken out of her trance, and memories of when Sawyer had been born. They'd been so happy.

"Aunt Brooke!" Sawyer wrapped herself around Brooke's legs before shouting back to the kitchen. "Grandma Aunt Brooke's here. Come quick."

Brooke somehow managed to enter the house without pushing Sawyer away. She closed the door, and turned as Karen came with arms outstretched from the kitchen.

"Brooke." The older women engulfed the younger brunette, and it broke Brooke's heart when she heard a faint sob escape the women. But when they separated there was no sign of that weakness, only strength. "Thank you for coming Brooke."

"You knew she was coming!" Sawyer hissed, she hated to be kept in the dark. Brooke had almost forgotten the young girl who rested against her hips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it was a surprise silly." Brooke chuckled. She got knelt down in front of the girl plastering on a huge smile. "If we told you it would be a surprise."

"So you were planning it. How long?" The girl asked excitedly.

"A very long time." Brooke lied.

"Cool." Karen smiled at Sawyer's response, just like that her questions forgotten.

"Cool." Brooke repeated. "Now where's-"

"Sawyer, why don't you go and get Brooke your school bag, and show her all the good work you've been doing. I know she'd love to see the picture you drew." Karen said, speaking to Sawyer but her eyes firmly on Brooke, as a silent conversation ensued.

"You want to see them Aunt Brooke?"

"Of course. Why don't you go into your room and I'll come and look. Just the two of us." Brooke smiled. As soon as Sawyer disappeared into her room, the charade vanished and all that remained were faces of despair and concern.

"Karen?" Brooke questioned quietly, both women turning to look at the main bedroom of the house. The door was closed, not ajar as all the others were, and Brooke could see it was dark, no light peering from underneath the door. "Where-"

"At Tric. I'll call Nathan, he'll go."

"Does Sawyer know?"

"I haven't said anything but she knows…she's smart, she puts on a brave face, pretends like it isn't happening."

"We all know where that comes from." Brooke tried to smile, but she knew the seriousness of it all. "How long?"

"Since the funeral. I don't know what to do Brooke. We've all tried, Nathan, Haley, even Skills." Karen choked out, trying to remain strong. "And I…I just don't what to do anymore. This wasn't supposed to happen. They were happy…They didn't deserve this. My boy didn't deserve this."

Brooke held Karen as she wept; consoling the women she loved as a mother. Karen was right: Lucas and Peyton didn't deserve this. They'd both endured too much suffering. And then there was Sawyer. Brooke could remember during Peyton's pregnancy, the silent worry they'd all had that Sawyer would follow in the footsteps of her parents and be raised in a single parent household.

Slowly Karen's sobs subsided, and the women pulled away.

"God Brooke, I'm so sorry. I must look a mess."

"Karen, it's fine. I can't imagine how hard this has been for you to watch." Brooke grabbed her hand gently rubbing it. In high school Karen had become a mother to both her and Peyton, taking them under her wing. Brooke knew she would be devastated to lose Karen, and assumed Karen felt the same way.

"I better call Nathan. It's best to get there early, and it's not fair on Haley if he's out late." Karen wiped away the tears.

"Karen let me go."

"Brooke-"

"I'll be fine. I've got a rental outside. I know where Tric is; let Nathan have the night off." Brooke stood up, she was going to do this and no one was going to stop her. Lucas and Peyton were two of her best friends. The three of them had broken each others heart numerous times but somehow strong friendships had emerged from the chaos.

As she drove the now quiet streets of Tree Hill, she couldn't help but see memories of the two of them, the river court, and the church where Lucas almost married Lindsay, and Tree Hill High. She could still remember sitting down with Peyton assuring her that in the end she and Lucas would be together. They were destined, and no one could stand in the way of Lucas Scott and Peyton Sawyer.

Lucas and Peyton. It no longer seemed correct to say one without the other. They weren't supposed to be parted and yet they had been, by the only thing more powerful than love: death.

Brooke could still remember the funeral, the whole town turned out. She'll never forget making her way to the front and finding Nathan and Haley. Nathan standing his whole face stern, his body imposing but his eye's broken, and a solitary tear running down his cheek as his wife cried into his shoulder.

Half way through Sawyer had escaped Larry's grasp and ran off, devastated And for a second no one moved, the priest stopped, but was told to continue by the widowed. Andy found Sawyer and brought her back, and sat with her near the back, as she cried for the parent she had lost by death and for the parent everyone she would lose because of it.

The wake had been at the house, Brooke should have noticed the alcohol then but her own grief shielded her from it. She remembered it everywhere, and then on the porch she'd found cigarette stubs. As she pulled up outside Tric, seeing the classic car parked at the door, she wondered why she hadn't done more and cursed herself. When she reached it she softly stroked it, and her thoughts drifted too its partner. Lucas and Peyton. The Comet and the Mustang.

The club was still quiet, most people probably still at home she thought as she made her way to the bar. Slouched over the bar, demanding more drinks, she found who she was looking for.

"I think you've hand enough." The bartender replied, nodding towards the numerous empty glasses. "It's too early for wasted."

"Do you know who I am? I could have you fired." The words were slurred, and Brooke watched the sad attempt to stand.

"I know, but my boss just called. Told me your lifts on the way, and not to serve you."

"Your boss?"

"Haley…she's. No. Nathan, no Nathans not your boss. Why can't they just leave me alone….Well fine I'll go somewhere else? Screw you all!" Brooke was standing feet away, as her presence was realised. "Brooke?"

"Hey." She said.

"Brooke? What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to take you home to your daughter."

"Don't bring her into this. You can't just come here and-" Brooke watched as the stool, fell to the floor. The large clattering noise attracting all surrounding attention, as everyone watched a broken figure stumble out of the bar.

_I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of broken dreams  
When the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk alone_

**Thanks for the reviews. Please review if you have any questions or suggestions. This story should be quiet short but I'm enjoyiny writing it, hope you are enjoying it. **


	3. Into My Arms

Brooke closed the door and walked into the kitchen. Karen was sat at the dining table, sipping on a cup of coffee. The older women looked up, smiling sadly as she offered Brooke a cup of coffee.

"Thanks Brooke. "

"No problem. Is Sawyer asleep?"

"Yeah, she tried to wait up for the two of you. Fell asleep on the couch. Poor little angel." Karen chuckled but the smile never reached her eyes. "She can't wait to hang out with you…I haven't seen her this exited in a long time…"

Karen's attempted laughter became a small sob and Brooke reached across the table. Gently squeezing the older women's hand.

"I'm so sorry Karen. I should have been here."

"No, it's not your fault Brooke. You have your own family. Everyone understands that-"

"That's no excuse, and I've decided I'm going to stay indefinitely."

"Brooke-"

"You called for a reason Karen. You can't do this alone. You have Lily to think about, and that husband of yours." Brooke smiled through teary eyes. "Lucas wouldn't have wanted you to run yourself into the ground."

"He made me promise I'd look after her."

"And you have-"

"Brooke!" Both women turned to see Sawyer emerging from her bedroom. "You're back!"

"Of course kiddo. And guess what?" Brooke cooed ushering Sawyer onto her lap.

"What?"

"I'm staying with you for a while."

"Cool!"

"Cool!" Brooke repeated. "Me and you are going to have all sorts of fun. If it's sunny tomorrow we'll have to hit the beach. I haven't been in ages."

"But you live on a beach silly!"

"I meant a Tree Hill beach. They're special."

"Brooke?" Sawyer looked up at her, her voice suddenly small and unsure. "Can Mommy come tomorrow?"

"I wouldn't let her miss it."

_And I don't believe in the existence of angels_

_But looking at you I wonder if that's true_

_But if I did I would summon them together_

_And ask them to watch over you_

_To each burn a candle for you_

_To make bright and clear your path_

Peyton's head ached as she stirred from her slumber. She could hear someone in the room and sat up to see what was going on. She quickly covered her head with her duvet as the curtains were opened, and the bright sun entered the room.

"Come on P. Scott. Get your alco ass out of bed." Brooke Davies, Peyton groaned to herself, before she tried to hide herself under the covers. They were pulled off her instantly and she reluctantly sat up.

It wasn't a nightmare; Brooke was indeed back in Tree Hill, and currently cleaning out her room.

"Brooke you don't have to do that." Peyton said, as Brooke picked up the dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

"I think I do. Karen tells me you basically live in here. So you've had ample opportunity and obviously couldn't." Brooke snapped back.

"Fine you're obviously in bitchy mode, I'm going to sleep. Clean all you want." Peyton muttered, she couldn't be bothered to argue with Brooke.

"I will but you are not going to bed. You're coming to the beach with us."

"Look Brooke, I'm not up for girl talk and gossiping at the moment. I've-"

"You've got what? Important things to do. Like what? Prop up the bar at Tric?" Brooke laughed bitterly.

"Screw you." Peyton turned over, signaling the end of the conversation on her part.

"Screw you, is that the best you've got?" Peyton didn't respond. "You're getting your ass out of bed. We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

There was no response, and Brooke glared down at the ball Peyton had curled into. She waited a few minutes, knowing what she'd have to do.

"Fine! The hard way it is!" Brooke shouted as she marched out of the room. She walked into the living room, where Nathan was sitting flicking through the paper. "You ready Nathan."

"I guess. If she kills me tell Haley I loved her." He joked, as he followed her back to the bedroom, where Peyton was still lying with her back to them. She reclaimed the covers but Brooke quickly pulled them away and before Peyton could say a word Nathan had lifted her over his shoulder.

"To the bathroom Nate." He obeyed carrying a kicking and screaming Peyton, wondering how he ended up doing this while Haley took Sawyer out to breakfast.

"Put me down Nathan or I swear to God." Peyton hissed, as he finally let her down in the bathroom.

"Thanks Nate!" Brooke said from the doorway. "I'll call if we need anything."

Nathan shuffled out of the room, and Brooke quickly locked the door behind him. Peyton didn't say a word, Brooke hadn't expected her too. Peyton had buried herself in self-pity, as she'd done all those years ago. And just like then Brooke was going to drag her out.

"P, I know your hurting-" Brooke spoke softly, crouching down in front of Peyton who refused to looked at her.

"Dam right I am, you and that asshole just dragged me out of bed."

"Your hurt, and I-" She grabbed Peyton's chin, forcing her to look her in the eye. "Your hurting, and you have every right to be. But you have a beautiful daughter. Don't let history repeat itself, don't leave her."

As soon as Brooke released her, she looked away. Her jaw was set but her hands were quivering, and Brooke could see she was fighting back the tears. She reached out a hand to wipe away a lone tear that ran down Peyton's ghostly cheek. The blonde slapped her hand away.

"Don't touch me."

"She needs you Peyton." Brooke whispered but Peyton remained silent. Brooke got to her feet and walked to the door. "Get dressed, and come to the beach. For your daughter."

Brooke unlocked the door, and went to the kitchen to find Nathan. He was nursing a cup of coffee, and silently passed her one he'd made on the counter. She could see him weighing up his option, wondering if he should give his opinion or remain silent.

"It's a nice day for the beach." He said, and Brooke just laughed. They were probably Peyton closest two friends. The three of them had been friends since they were eight years old and their clique first formed. Despite this they'd never been close. She' do anything for Nathan and loves his family like her own, and she knows he'd do the same. They were never close though. "Anyway Brooke I better get going. Tell me how it goes."

It was a few minutes after he'd left she heard the shower come on. Brooke crept down the hallway before peaking in the room. She could see Peyton supporting herself with her arms against the wall, as she closed her eyes and tilted her face towards the showerhead.

Brooke backed away from the room, a large grin across her face. She quickly headed back to Peyton's room, picking out a suitable outfit. An old t-shirt, a pair of ripped jeans and flip-flops.

Sawyer bounced up the steps of her house. Haley followed nervously. Brooke had told her to take Sawyer out for the morning, while she sorted out Peyton. Haley hadn't been able to ask her to expand on what she meant. All Brooke had said was that she needed Nathan, and to be back by twelve.

"Aunt Haley hurry up. We were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." Sawyer said as they reached the door. Before Haley could respond the door swung open.

"Tutor wife, you're late."

"I just thought I'd give you time to get ready." Haley mumbled, and Sawyer could see them doing that thing that all adults to. They were talking with their minds. Her Mommy and Daddy used to do it all the time.

"Sawyer, why don't you get a drink from the kitchen. I need to talk to your Aunt Haley."

"Fine but don't talk about me. I'll know. I'm physic!"

"Psychic, honey." Haley corrected.

"Whatever!" Sawyer groaned, as she left them to talk. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw her Mom sitting at the kitchen table, with a cup of coffee.

"Sawyer." Her voice was soft, not cracked like it had been for what seemed like an eternity to the young girl. She didn't hesitate in running into her mothers arms, savoring the feeling as she felt her Mom's arms wrap around her.

"I missed you Momma." She whispered before she felt her mothers' warm breath as she kissed her golden locks.

"I missed you too, baby girl."

_So keep your candle burning_

_And make her journey bright and pure_

_That she will keep returning_

_Always and evermore_

**Sorry its been so long. I've really been struggling to finish the two stories that I've started. I hope you liked the update, it felt so strange to back writing this story and I wasn't convinced but I felt I owed you guys something. I have to apologize for the mistakes. I'm not beta'd and the spell check won't work. I'm convinced I'll spot a load of mistakes as soon as I load this. Let me know what you think. Thanks guys!!!**


	4. Tears Of An Angel

**Flashbacks are in italics. Thanks for all the reviews. They mean so much. Hope you enjoy, and apologies for any mistakes. I am hoping to get the spell check working on this thing. **

Brooke turned off the last of the lights and made her way down the hallway. All was silent and clouded in darkness, except from the light creeping out from Sawyer's door. She'd probably left her lamp on Brooke thought as she silently opened the door. Sawyer was fast asleep curled up in a little ball and hugging her teddy bear, while Peyton sat on the floor next to the bed stroking her hair as tears ran down her own cheeks.

The floor board must of creaked but she startled Peyton, who quickly withdrew her hand and got to her feet, wiping away the tears.

"I was just...I.." Peyton stuttered as she walked towards Brooke.

"P it's okay. I only came in because I thought she left the light on." Brooke grabbed Peyton's hand stopping her from leaving the room. They both looked back to the bed as Sawyer stirred briefly, and turned in her sleep. "She had a great day today."

"She loves when you visit." Peyton whispered.

"It was nothing to do with me Peyton. That girl adores you." Brooke explained. She was about to continue when Peyton shook off her hand and exited the room without another word.

"I've got to go." Brooke heard her mumble, "I've got to get out of here."

Brooke managed to catch her up as she searched for her car keys in a draw. She slammed the draw when she couldn't find them. Her hands shaking as she tried not to breakdown.

"Fucking car keys!"

She continued to look for them slamming pressing and scattering the contents of draws and Brooke watched helplessly until her eyes caught sight of a chink of meal. Peyton spotted it as well and they both lunged for it.

"Give me the keys Brooke." Peyton spoke ccoldly as Brooke emerged the victor.

"No." Brooke said still wondering what had set her off.

"I'm not playing around."

"Neither am I. You are staying in this house. "

"Whatever Mom!" Peyton sniped, storming off in the direction of the front door.

"Peyton, get right back here." Brooke hissed, not wanting to wake Sawyer. "I will not let you drink yourself stupid."

"Isn't that the Brooke Davis way. I mean you may be the perfect little stepford wife now but I remember when you used to jump from one bed to another like a cricket."

"Pe-"

"Don't Peyton me, you have no idea what its like to lose someone. You've never lost anyone."

"Maybe not, but you haven't lost everyone."

"Do not use my daughter to win your stupid argument."

"This isn't an argument. You have a daughter and you're about to walk out on her just so you can get a drink."

"I'll be back."

"And what am I supposed to tell her if you don't."

"I would never leave her." Peyton clutched the door handle.

"No but you'd have her watch you drink yourself to death."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Peyton seethed, turning the handle, only for Brooke to slam it firmly shut. Please move.....Move! move!"

"Peyton stop." Brooke grabbed her. "Just stop!"

She pulled Peyton into her arms and this time she didn't pull away. Instead she fell into the embrace finally letting the her emotions free. She sobbed until her legs gave away and she was hanging off Brooke. Somehow she managed to move them to Peyton's room.

She lay them down on to the bed, and wrapped her arms round Peyton as she continued to cry. Eventually her breathing evened out and she rested her head onto Brooke's chest.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this Brooke"

_Brooke looked up from her seat to see a teary eyed Haley looking down at her._

"_I know Hales."_

"_He's too young, and Sawyer. She's not going to understand this." _

"_Hales, we'll get them through it. We have to be strong for Sawyer and Peyton."_

"_Where is she?" Haley asked_

"_She's in the room with him,and Skills took Sawyer home for a bit." Brooke answered. Peyton hadn't moved from Lucas's side since she'd arrived. "The doctor said she could stay."_

"_Did he say anything else?" She questioned, her face falling when they both heard a gentle sob coming from Lucas's room. The look on Brooke's face gave her all the answers she needed._

"_I'm sorry Haley." Brooke said as the two women embraced. They pulled apart when they heard movement coming from within the room. They both peered through the door to see Peyton climbing into the bed with Lucas. They watched as she ran her fingers through is hair before kissing his cheek._

"_Hey baby, it's just me. You've got everybody worried. Nathan even called your Mom. They're coming tomorrow so you have to wake up then." She kissed his neck a few times before looking up at him with a small smile. "Because I can't cook for them, otherwise they'll be in the hospital too. Unless I do the whole fish sticks thing."_

_She laughed lightly at her well known inability to cook, totally unaware of her two friends standing in the doorway struggling not to cry._

"_No I won't do that, don't worry. When you wake up we'll go out. There's that nice little place on the waterfront. Remember we went there with my Dad. That was a good day.... You remember, Sawyer got all dressed up. She wore that dress Brooke got her for Christmas, and then my Dad turns up in just a t shirt and jeans."_

_Both Haley and Brooke stepped back away from the door, leaving Peyton talking to Lucas. They both shared a look of concern but neither had the heart to interrupt. No one wanted to remind Peyton that Karen was rushing back to Tree Hill in the hopes of being there for her sons final moments._

"I don't know what to do Brooke. How am I meant to do this?" Peyton whispered.

_Brooke looked at Karen, with no idea what answer to give. She'd arrived the previous day and a few hours later Lucas had woken up. Peyton had left the room once giving him and Karen a few minutes alone. _

"_I'm sorry Karen." Brooke said, hating her response. It seemed the words I'm sorry were becoming a greeting to everyone. It was all she seemed to be saying to everyone._

"_He asked me look after her and Sawyer." Karen cried. _

"_Then the's what we'll do."_

"_Brooke she keeps talking like we're all going to walk out of here. The doctors keep telling us but she just seems to ignore it. I don't how to reach her only-"_

"_Lucas does" Brooke finished and both women knew they couldn't ignore this for much longer. They both entered the room to find Lucas asleep, and Peyton resting at his side holding onto his hand, stocking his knuckles. "Hey P. Scott."_

"_B. Baker." Peyton signed looking at them briefly before turning back to Lucas. "He was a little tired."_

"_Yeah." Brooke nodded trying not to let her tears fall, but the sight of Lucas lying weakly in a hospital bed and Peyton hanging on to him was too much. She was watching her too best friends both breaking, one physically and the other emotionally. "Haley was saying that Sawyer wants to come in."_

"_I don't ant her seeing Lucas like this." Peyton cut her off immediately, her tone harsher than both of them had expected. "He'll be home soon."_

"_Peyton..."_

"_Look I'm really tired Brooke. I was going to sleep while Lucas sleeps."_

"_Peyt" They all turned to the bed as Lucas spoke groggily. "Peyt, let them bring Sawyer. I need to see her."_

_Peyton looked at him, everyone realising the message behind his request, no one more so than Peyton who looked like he'd just torn out a piece of her heart._

"_Luke." Her voice quivered._

"_Please Peyt." She nodded, giving him a soft kiss on his knuckles before standing. _

"_I'll be back in a minute. I just need to go to the bathroom." She excused herself and when she didn't return Brooke went to the bathroom, only to find her curled up in one of the cubicles crying her eyes out._

Brooke waited until Peyton fell into a restless sleep. She covered her with the comforter and kissed her softly on the forehead. It caused her to stir and reach for the pillow on the empty side of the bed. She inhaled its scent and sighed into it.

She exited the room, and went to check on Sawyer, who was sleeping soundly, completely ignorant it seemed to the plight of her mother. As Brooke turned to exit the floor board creaked.

"Aunt Brooke."

"Sorry sweetie, I was just checking you were okay?"

"Is my Momma okay?"

"Of course, Sawyer-bean." Brooke cooed sitting onto the bed next to the little girl. She was a carbon copy of Peyton at that age. The curly blonde hair, the skinny legs and now it seemed she was gaining her mothers defining trait: those haunted eyes.

"Momma used to call me Sawye-bean. She doesn't anymore." Sawyer said, her voice trembling.

"Oh Sawyer, don't get upset. Your Mom loves you so much." Brooke said wraping her arms around her small body. "She loves you so much."

"But she's always crying, and...." Sawyer cried.

"That has nothing to do with you. She's just going through a rough time. But she's getting better and she was so happy watching you at the beach."

"Then why was she crying. I saw her when I was swimming. She was crying."

"Those were happy tears. Like in the movies, she was just so happy seeing you in the water. I think it's the best day she's had in a while."

"Then why is she crying now?" Sawyer looked her straight in the eye, and Brooke knew she couldn't lie. Her voice was strong and demanding. "Why? Why is she crying now."

"Honey, she...Your Mom loves you so much and... I think she just wishes your Dad was here to see you grow up to." Brooke tried to explain, tightening her grip on the little girl. "She's just sad but she'll be okay. It's just hard for her at the moment."

"I wish Daddy was here."

"So do I honey."

"I'd ask him how to make Momma stop being sad."

_Stop every clock _

_Stars are in shock _

_The river will flow to the sea _

_I wont let you fly _

_I wont say goodbye _

_I wont let you slip away from me _

_Can you hear heaven cry_

_Tears of an angel_


	5. Heroes Or Ghosts

Brooke wasn't surprised when Sawyer had woken up the following morning, full awake, and smiling. She'd bounded into the kitchen, and set about trying to "turn her Momma's frown upside down". Brooke had laughed but helped her nonetheless, seeing a little of herself in the young Scott.

Over the next week Sawyer tried desperately to cheer Peyton up. She played games, told stories, drew pictures and danced around the house. Her room was spotless, and everyday she'd drag Peyton in to prove it. She never got the affection she craved though, making do with a numb nod or the gentle ruffling of her hair. Her little face would crumple momentarily before she force a smile and decide upon a new way to get the attention she now craved.

"Brooke I wants to make cookies!" Brooke laughed at the latest idea.

"You do, huh?" She laughed, finishing the washing up. She turned to Sawyer, who was sat up on the counter, legs dangling and banging against the presses. "What did I tell you about sitting up there?

"Not to." Sawyer huffed, jumping down. "Now can we make cookies? Pleeease?"

"Sawyer, I've just cleaned the kitchen."

"Please Aunt Brooke. You'll be the best Godmother ever. Please!" She tugged at Brooke's shirt. "I make real nice one's. We always make them to-"

"Fine, we'll make cookies." Brooke couldn't say no, and she knew how relentless Sawyer could be in trying to get what she wanted.

"Yes!" Sawyer squealed, clapping her hands together in triumph. "Momma's going to love them!"

Brooke's heart sank a little when she heard that. She could her the shower from the bathroom, and knew Sawyer making was the last thing Peyton would want to see.

"Cookies are Momma's favorite!" Sawyer said happily as she looked through the press's.

"Honey, why don't we make them later?" Brooke said. "I know your Grandma would love to see you."

"No. She's going out with Lily. She told you yesterday." Brooke squinted, wondering how Sawyer seemed to remember everything. "You shouldn't tell lies Aunt Brooke!"

"Okay smarty pants."

"Here Aunt Brooke, take these." Sawyer handed Brooke the baking goods, and she delved back into the kitchen cupboards. Brooke didn't have the heart to stop the excited girl. She heard the shower turn off, signaling Peyton would be joining them soon. She' been doing better, the drinking had stopped, but she was just moping around the house a lot. Brooke just wasn't sure what to do next. There was no problem now; they were just going through the motions.

When Peyton did finally join them, Brooke was more than surprised to see her dressed up with her make up complete. Sawyer noticed as well, and smiled widely. She smiled weakly at Brooke, before turning her attention to one of the high presses.

"Morning Mommy. I'm making the cookies!" Peyton nodded as she closed the cupboard door. She looked back at Brooke, both knowing what had been in there. Brooke had rid the house of alcohol, and was pretty sure there'd been a few bottles of Scotch in that one. She saw Peyton take a deep breath, before wrapping a light arm around Sawyer's shoulder.

"Good girl." Peyton turned to look at Brooke, as Sawyers attention returned to the mixing bowl. "We'll have them when I get back."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Peyton replied, though her eyes were locked with Brookes. She broke away from Sawyer, kissing the top of her head. She turned to walk out the back door when she felt her arm tugged back.

"Peyton where are you going? Do not do this!" Brooke turned Peyton back to her.

"Do what?"

"You've been doing really well, you don't need to do this." She immediately expected to worse, and knew it would break Sawyer's heart.

"Brooke." Peyton sighed.

"No Peyton, Sawyer deserves more than an alcoholic mother."

"It's not-"

"I don't want to hear it." Brooke shouted. "You can not keep doing this."

"I'm not….You know what Brooke. Screw it, screw you. I'm a grown women I shouldn't have to explain myself to you." Peyton pulled her hand away, and stormed out to the garage.

"Peyton wait."

"I'm taking this car, seeing as you still have my keys." Peyton got into the car, and started the engine, ignoring Brookes tapping on the window.

"Don't do this!"

"I'll be back before it's dark." With that Peyton put her foot down and exited the driveway, seething as she looked back to see Brooke glaring at her. She quickly snapped her attention back onto the road, trying not to care at how pathetic her best friend thought she was.

She calmed down after an hour on the road; she'd driven out of Tree Hill by the back roads. Lucas used to love just driving around with her and Sawyer, soft music playing, as they got lost for a little while. She was almost glad Brooke had taken her keys, the Mustang made her feel all the more closer to Lucas.

She stopped at a garage far enough from Tree Hill, so that no one would know her. Knowing Brooke she probably had everyone in the town under orders not to serve her alcohol. She laughed to herself at the thought, as she made her purchase. It wasn't her intention to worry Brooke. She'd explain it later.

A few hours later she pulled up at the old house, taking the bottle of Scotch from the passenger seat. She smiled up at the front door, as it opened.

"Well, well. If I'd a know you were coming I would have dressed up." She quickly ascended the steps to meet him on the porch, and he pulled her into an embrace. "You didn't have to come."

Whitey Durham pulled back, holding her shoulders, and taking a look at her. The fancy clothes and make up didn't fool him. He'd known this girl for over 10 years. He sighed as she tried to smile.

"Come inside Bonnie." He laughed, leading her in to the front room.

"Odd after all theses years, I've never been in here." Peyton remarked, as she sat down on the comfy couch.

"Nathan tells me you've been drinking." Whitey was always straight to the point. He eyed the brown paper bag in her hands.

"I've stopped." He looked her straight in the eye. "Lucas used to always bring it with him. I figured…"

"Well I'll take that." He stood and took it from her. "And these. I don't recall Lucas ever bringing cigarettes."

"No." Peyton murmured to herself as Whitey went to put the bottle of alcohol away. She looked around the room. One wall was decorated in pictures; she recognized a few of the faces, staring back at her.

"Do you remember that first game? Those God awful green kits." He pointed to a picture, he was coaching, his arms outstretched as he tried to get his point across to a player. There sitting on the bench was Lucas, head in his hands.

_Nice hands._

_Nice legs._

"He looks like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders." Peyton whispered.

"He did. He wanted to show you all. Show you he was better." Whitey said, looking to another picture. "He played like crap though, took him a while to realize being the better man was more important."

Peyton turned and took the drink from him, before returning to her seat. She wondered briefly when Lucas had last been here. He used to make it a point to come once a month, just to keep the once mentor up to date. Whitey had come for the funeral; Peyton could vaguely remember him offering words of comfort. Unlike the others who offered, she listened to the man who also carried the loss of the soul mate. But then he'd disappeared back into his own retreat and she hadn't thought about him again until her eye's had landed on the calendar Brooke had put up. Keith's birthday: Lucas would drive up to Whitey's with nothing but a bottle of Scotch, and a heavy heart. It tore Peyton up but Keith's death was one of the few things Lucas didn't like to talk about with her. They both knew why. So every year on Keith's birthday, Lucas would disappear for the day. Peyton didn't mind; he'd come and they'd sit in front of the fire, with homemade cookies, and Casablanca playing.

"You're just like him, you know. Lucas: he'd come up here, and never know what to say. It was easy to get him talking. Same as Keith in that way. We talked about you."

"Me?"

"Endlessly. Oh and Sawyer. Everything from the first word to the time she played basketball in the kitchen. Smashed up a sink full of glasses!" Whitey laughed, and Peyton found herself joining him. She couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed, and she felt tears running down her cheeks as she tried to speak.

"And the worst thing was. Lucas was actually proud."

"I'll bet." Whitey said sitting back into his chair. "How's she doing?"

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yes good." Peyton said curtly, ignoring the how Whitey just smiled before squinting at her, as if laughing at some joke.

"I must be getting old." He finally said. "It's like I'm watching the past."

He got to his feet, and took both there mugs, and walked off into the kitchen. Peyton was confused by the statement, and followed him in search of an explanation.

"What? What did you mean by that?" She demanded.

"Why did you come here?"

"I…what did you mean?"

"You came here because Lucas used to come here. Thought you'd find a piece of him here."

"I-"

"Lucas used to come for the same thing, and it always ended the same. He'd realize he had to go home, that he had everything right there. You and that little girl." He stopped and looked her right in the eye. "Go home Peyton. There are no answers here."

"I came because Lucas used to come. I thought you could use a familiar face. Keith was like a son to you. Excuse me for caring." Peyton snarled, only to be angered further when Whitey laughed.

"Sounds about right." She groaned. "I knew you were wily, but I've never been on the receiving end of the feisty side."

"I'm going to go."

"Go home. Go home to your daughter. Lucas was never happier than when he was with you. His eyes lit up talking about the two of you. If there were one thing he'd want from you: he'd want you to spend every hour with that little girl, not here with me. He want when someone asks about her for you to be able talk for hours abut the simplest things. Come back next year. Tell me about Sawyer."

Peyton nodded, and drove home in tears. It was just getting dark when she arrived home. It was just getting dark, but she knew Sawyer and Brooke were most definitely waiting. She opened the door, to meet Brooke.

"Peyton. I'm sorry. I finally realized where you were going, after phoning Karen. Sawyer explained. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Brooke. I shouldn't…I'm back now." She pulled Brooke into her arms.

"Still I should have trusted you."

"I haven't given you much reason to."

"Still."

"Momma!" They were interrupted by Sawyer bursting into the room, carrying a plate full of cookies. "Me and Brooke made cookies for you!"

"For me!" Peyton smiled, lifting Sawyer up. "And the house is still standing."

"I was in charge."

"Good job. You know Brooke almost burnt down Grandpa's house making cookies."

"She did?"

"She did!" Peyton repeated, smiling at Brooke.

"One time but at least I know what a dash is!" Brooke said, noticing the change in Peyton.

"Mommy, are we going to watch a movie now?"

"I don't know. What do you think Brooke?"

"Well…"

"Tell you what you go pick one, and I'll convince Aunt Brooke!" Peyton winked.

"Sweet!" She disappeared into a flash. Peyton smile faded as she looked around the room. She felt a warm set of arms wrap around her, and relaxed into the embrace.

"We can do this P Sawyer-Scott. Now you're back, we're going to get through this."

"I hope so." Peyton whispered.

"I know so."

_From the shadows you're cast to play the part_

_So don't grow old, forgetting who you are_

_A simple goal could get you very far_

_And you know, yeah you know, it's harder than it looks, yeah it's harder than it looks_

_But I know, it's gonna take a lot of time and a little bit of luck_

_And it's beginning to happen, it's beginning to move_

_I've seen a reaction, yeah I've watched us improve_

**Thanks for the reviews, and I hope everyones still interested. I hope that update was okay. It's been weighing on my mind. Honestly I'm a little lost with this story, and am not entirely covinced with this update. Let me know what you think? **

**On the plus side, it's named after one of my favourite songs: Heroes Or Ghosts - The Coronas. Seriously listen to it.**

**Please review. Idea's are welcome so I can pass them off as my own :-P**

**I'll try to get back into the swing with this story. It's only a short one so just a few more chapters. Thanks guys!!! Hopefully I'll have an update next week for you all!!**


End file.
